(until i change my mind again)

so there i was at 6:30 PM, monday-- the sun setting behind the horizon, ailene waving me off-- i showed my ticket to the guard who smiled and let me through, lugged my huge-ass suitcase on to the baggage x-ray machine and let the woman frisk me. i found the business class check-in counter, smiled at the lady behind it and handed her my ticket. she took one look at it and checked her computer. "non-revenue? i'm sorry," she said, not unkindly, "you're on checkhold right now."

checkhold. i knew what that meant. "but i called and book my flight last night," i replied. non-revenue but still, my dad paid for more than half the price of the ticket.

"yes, but that was just for the meal list. i can only let you check-in at 9 PM."

i stared at her and said, "the lady on the phone told me to come her by 6:30 and now you're telling me i can only know for sure if i'll make it to the flight at 9?"

she smiled apologetically. "you can still go to the mall..."

i glared at her. "too late. my ride left ten minutes ago." i sighed and dragged my cart to the nearest cellphone charging bench. i plopped down on the cold metal seat and tried not to think that i could've been at the mabuhay lounge. i plugged greebo in and decided to listen to Ravi's "Absolute Truth in Relative Terms" and tried not to let my impatience simmer.

i stared at the crowd of people coming in and followed them to make sure that they don't go to the business class counter. the less people checking in, the more chances i had of making the flight. i sighed again and texted some people about my predicament, all the time thinking that if my dad were here, he'd be with me, wearing his full captain's uniform and telling the people at the counter that i'm his daughter and i deserved to be in first class.

but Dad was in Vancouver. i didn't even think about texting him.

i sighed and prayed that i'd just stop grumbling because even i was annoying myself at that point. i needed to get rid of all the self-entitlement and just stop fidgeting. it occured to me that maybe this is another lesson on waiting that God was teaching me, and i was already fumbling through it. jen texted me a few minutes later to confirm, that yes, this is another one of them lessons. haha

so i prayed. yes, Lord... it would be all right for me to wait some more for the flight to LA. i mean, i've waited for it this long, right? what's another day? but i'm already here! in my 18-hour flight outfit (very safari, according to ailene), all packed and ready. it's just one seat on the business class. not too many people took business class, right? please let me get on this plane...

an hour passed. Ravi finished his sermon and i didn't understand any of it, so i played it again and made sure to pay attention to it this time. i wondered at how i wasn't nervous anymore, compared to the days leading to this. apart from the hard seat, i was in perfect peace. i had my feet up on my suitcase and listening to a sermon about the temptations of Jesus Christ in the desert. i still prayed every few minutes that i'd make it to the flight, but i wasn't worried anymore.

five minutes after nine, i went back to the counter to ask if i'm in, but the lady said they hadn't gotten clearance yet but she'd let me know. she knew where i was waiting, she'd just wave to me.

as soon as i sat back on the bench, my phone rang with an unlisted number. i answered it and it was Captain Ortega-- the captain of my flight. he said Dad called him and asked him to take care of me. he told me that as soon as i get my boarding pass (which i still wasn't sure i'd get), i must be the last to board the plane and look for the purser who will take care of me. i wrote his name and the purser's name on my hand so i wouldn't forget. he told me to call him as soon as i get my boarding pass. as soon as i hung up, my mom called and told me that Dad called flight dispatch and the captain of the flight. i told her i've spoken to Captain Ortega already. when i looked up, the lady at the counter was beaming and beckoning to me. i got in!

i breathed a prayer of thanks and got my boarding pass, went through immigrations and the next two inspections. i was just smiling all the way, and people smiled back at me. since i was told to be last to board, i made small talk with the inspectors for a bit-- who thought i was a US citizen going home (must be the safari outfit, heh), and told me i didn't look 26 because i was grinning a lot.

the people at the gate were expecting me, probably because the captain told them, or they knew my dad. i waited for a bit before boarding the plane. the purser showed me to the first class cabin as soon as i got in. i didn't even ask God for this. awesome.

so where was God in all of this?

i saw Him in my dad (which i thought was awesome)-- when he was looking out for me, sending people to take care of me even if i thought he was too faraway to do anything. God is always there, watching out for us, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. Thank God that i'm finding Him more and more in various situations now. There is also a recognition that i'm my dad's daughter even if i didn't tell people. dad told people about me. just as God's people are different and could be recognized by other people-- for some reason, Christians are more attractive because of their love for God.  it's true. i'm not saying the people at the airport found me attractive-- but i hope you get my point.

while i didn't ask to be put in first class, Captain Ortega still put me there because i'm a captain's daughter. i remember reading in John Piper's Desiring God that the problem with us is, not that we ask God for too much but, we ask God for too little. God wants to give the best for us, and because of His grace, even if we don't ask for it, He gives it anyway. "To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine," right?

and God was there in the waiting. it's funny that in Isaiah 40:31 it says, "“but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles..." because it was literal for me at that situation-- waiting, and then flying? get it? heh. but seriously, i know He was there-- He is still here--when He soothed my fears and impatience away, in the background, were He moved people to answer my prayers, in the long and slightly bumpy flight over the pacific ocean, to my passing through immigration without a hitch and finally getting here.

in Cerritos (LA County), the weather is just perfect-- like Baguio in February. i'm all alone in the house as i'm writing this. i'm thinking of trying the bus and going to Cerritos' awesome library (i saw the building yesterday). i haven't done much, in terms of touristy things--except buy sunblock at the Target around the corner-- but i'm glad i'm here. i still have the peace that descended on me while waiting at the airport, and i know that i'm where i'm supposed to be right now.

so, where have you spotted God lately?